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JevInstincts As I start the new year, I thought I'd start the year with a little ditty I've titled The Missing Diaper. Yes dear faithful reader, this month I delve into the mystery and subsequent discovery of the missing diaper. It was a Saturday, and as Saturdays go this one was an unqualified disaster. Life with three kids is often a lot of fun. Other times it makes me pine and wax nostalgic for the glory days before I became a father, and by default an adult. Despite the portents, my wife and I decided we were going to have an adventure whether the kids cooperated or not. This I like to refer to as exerting parental control. So we piled the kids (screaming) into their seats, buckled them in (overcoming the amazing back arching ability of our little girl) and headed off to enjoy the day. What could be more fun than going to a museum featuring a dinosaur exhibit? Nothing, that's what! So we drove for an hour and arrived around one o'clock in the afternoon (Did I mention we didn't feed the kids at lunch time?) and paid a King's ransom in entry fees and started wandering around. The kids of course were in fine form. So I broke down and suggested we eat at the little fast food kiosk. Which we did. And it was probably the single worst experience of my fast food eating experience. But it did accomplish what I had hoped it fueled the kids. So we started again, and were actually having a pretty good time (hang on, I'm getting to the diaper part so don't skip ahead). We came to a part of the museum where there was a kids area of sorts. A beaver dam, and a hollow tree, that sort of thing. The boys were having a field day. My youngest trotted out of the hollow looking like the cat who swallowed the canary. He ran over, and I picked him up, and gave him a big hug and patted his bottom. Hey, this feels different. Where's the padding? Uh oh. I put him down and he runs back to the beaver dam to join his older brother. At this point my parental antennae is going "bzzzz" so I follow him. Hoping to find the diaper before anyone else does. In the hollow no diaper was to be found, but there was a puddle. Uh oh. I quickly alerted my wife, and using my clever exaggerated eyebrow signals told her we had to leave - now. I explained the situation, and we did a quick scan to make sure no one was looking and we bolted. The diaper remained a mystery until we got to the car. As we were taking off his overalls we found the diaper jammed down his leg. How it got there is a trick only my sons knows about. I feel bad about the puddle, but no so bad I wanted to draw attention to it unnecessarily. Jevster |
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